thoughts on dying
Dear Donna,
I had surgery almost 11 months ago. My children and
husband had watched me survive about eight other
surgeries for hernias ( most were emergencies) to try
to fix my failing abdominal wall before the RNY
surgery. Then I had a pulmonary embolism three weeks
after the surgery. Then they discovered that I had a
clotting disorder…I clot tooo much! So fear of me
dieing is a very real thing to my family. I live life
every day. I cherish each breath that I take.
I know that my decision to have surgery for morbid
obesity was the right thing to do. Life after all of
the above with a one hundred and thirty-three pound
loss is like no other life I have ever had. I
continue to loose which is good because I have at
least another 50 lbs to go.
Life isn’t all solved…I face another surgery soon
for the largest hernia I have ever had. I still have
major depression…a heriditary disease that may never
leave me, the medications for that and the clotting
disorder seem to have slowed my loss a bit…skin and
flab hang from every angle…oh well.
I have been blessed to be born in an age when medical
miracles happen. All of the above have made me strong
and shown me that each day is a prescious thing.
You have made a good choice and should talk seriously
to the kids about your reasons for your choice. They
may not understand now but will some day. You are a
strong person for this decision because you are ready
for change. Change is a frightening thing but
brightens our spirits. I wish you well. Mary