Obesity Surgery WP Blog

… I weighed 344 pounds (down from my 5 year steady of 350… that 8 weeks
of constant pre-op eating made me *lose* 6 pounds!). I was unable to walk
to the end of the driveway without gasping for air… without needing 3
days to recover from the pain in my back, my feet, my knees. I could not
sit in a chair with arms… could not sit in regular theater seats, lawn
chairs, booths. I could not wipe myself properly. I could not take a
bath. I could not wear clothes that were sold in the mall (I mail-ordered
clothes from super-sized stores for 15 years). I could not go to Disney
World or Disneyland (my faves in the world!) without using an ECV. I could
not get rid of my diabetes no matter what I did… I was on several
diabetes meds, was on cholesterol meds, on triglyceride meds, on
kidney-saving meds. I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome, sleep apnea,
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, snored worse
than a freight train, and breathed like I had run a marathon just sitting
in the recliner watching tv. One year ago, I ate an average of 8000-10,000

calories a day. I would eat 2 Super-Sized meals from McDonald’s or Burger
King and then go home and have a “sensible dinner” with my family. I ate
in the car… hid in my room… hid food… would buy 3 dozen Krispy
Kremes, eat one dozen in the parking lot (with a Diet Coke, thank you!) and
hide the other two in the trunk of my car… eat one when Sarah went to
work and the other after she went to bed… I would drive the “evidence” to
7-11 and throw it in their garbage (the boxes, certainly not the
donuts!). I would eat 2 pound bags of M&Ms at the movies and then go out
to dinner eating appetizer, salad, bread and butter, dinner, dessert and
finish whatever others didn’t. I ripped my clothes all the time because of
squeezing into tight spaces or because of growing too fat for the clothes I
was trying to put on. Last year, it took 3 days to clean the house. Last
year, I slept 14 hours a day (average). Last year, I couldn’t get on the
floor (or get up if I happened to find my way down there!). Last year, I
had to slice vegetables at the dining room table because I couldn’t stand
long enough to do it. Last year, I walked down stairs by taking a step and
then putting the next foot on the same step… going down like an old, old,
OLD person (this was when I absolutely *had* to take the stairs). If I had
to go up the stairs (as I did to see Lion King in LA), I made sure it was
only ONCE and I had to rest every 4 steps. I tried so many weight loss
plans/tricks I am nauseous thinking about them all. I despised working
out. Unless I stayed in the house, I was made fun of every single day of
my life since I was about 14 years old.
Some of my measurements last year:
Breasts - 53″
Waist - 54″
Hips - 65″
Thigh - 36.25″
Wrist - 7 and 1/8
Body Fat % - 75
Weight - 344 pounds (BMI 63)
53 - 54 - 65. Woo Hoo! Scarlett O’Hara, eat your heart out!
Before I started researching WLS (3 years ago), I had no hope of living to
see 50. 45 was a long shot. All I could see and feel was getting fatter
and fatter and fatter… finally exploding into oblivion… coating the
walls like when someone fries a lot of food and the grease drips down the
paint. I was becoming more and more of a hermit despite trying not to. My
weight/size dictated *everything* my family did together. My abilities
were *always* the top issue when deciding where to go, what to eat, how
would I get around, take a nap, not have to walk far. (this, btw, is so
painful to write about.)
And the truly wondrous part of all of this re-telling is I am not saying
one damn thing that every single person reading this doesn’t already
know… intimately… painfully.
Today, every single lab is perfectly normal. Every co-morbidity I had is
long, LONG gone (diabetes, GERD, PCOS, sleep apnea, joint pain, stress
incontinence, IBS). I am off all medications (except for my
antidepressants and oral contraceptives… and supps, of course). I am
able to run around for HOURS and MILES and never get tired. The most I
have walked in a day was 10 miles. The average is about 4. I am
strong. I have so many beautiful muscles. I can *run*, do cartwheels,
dash up and down stairs (and take them every single time I see them!) like
fit people do (am I one of those?), and buy clothes in Petite
Sophisticates. I am a petite size 12/14. I wear medium misses tops. I
had to get all new Birkies because I have lost 2 shoes sizes and 3 shoe
widths. All of my watches have been re-sized several times and are due for
it again. My rings are also re-sized often. My bracelets have been
re-sized. I go to the gym (when home) 3-4 times a week. I *love* weight
training! I can fit in the bathtub *with* Sarah (with room to spare!!!)
and no longer am the Barbara Dam with my fat butt. I can take care of all
of my hygiene needs easily. I can put a tampon in. I have incredible,
fantastic, gymnastic sex that only gets better with time. I can squat,
kneel, crouch, get up and down off the floor a million times a day and
never hurt, get tired, or struggle. I fit in any chair, booth, car, plane
seat, turnstile, and lap.
I never knew how much of life I was missing. I know that was because I
lived a lifetime obese, morbidly obese, and super morbidly obese. But, I
know now and I will fight with all that I am to be a part of this new
life… this life where activity and adventure are the focus, not how much
food I can eat at a sitting or where my next meal was coming from.
I have survived/thrived this last year because of Sarah, OSSG, my
therapist, my WLS support groups at Alvarado, the ObesityHelp.com chat
room, my own journal writing, and talking to thousands of WLS posties…
trying to grasp onto their infinite words of wisdom. There are no words to
thank every one of you enough for your love, support, challenges,
kindnesses, and smacks in the head. Your presence has, literally, saved me
from myself on more than one occasion. There are no words, but thank you
with all of my heart.
Today’s measurements:
Breasts - 36″ (17 inches GONE!)
Waist - 35″ (19 inches GONE!)
Hips (and pannus) - 44″ (21 inches GONE!)
Thigh - 23.5 (12.75 inches GONE!)
Wrist - 6″ (1 and 1/8 inches GONE!)
Body Fat % - 28 (47% of my body fat GONE!)
Weight - 172# (172# GONE!) BMI 31.6
I just cannot believe that is me I am writing about. Cannot believe it.
Yesterday was my one year visit at Alvarado. My wonderful surgeon was out
of town, but I met with Leslie, my nurse and a nearly 9 year
post-op. While my own scales say I have lost more, I am using the
“official” weight that I received yesterday since I weighed a year ago on
their scale, too. Thank heavens for the Tanita scale. My body fat
percentage is in the middle of the normal range for an over 40 woman who
has been morbidly obese. I am not even Garden Variety Fat anymore (a term
Sarah invented when I was halfway down the scale). I, literally, fit into
society. No one looks at me as a fat woman. No one glares at me when I
walk into the petite sections at stores (and believe me, I scrutinize every
salesperson’s face!). I can go anywhere, do anything… without
limits. It is freeing and terrifying all at the same time. I wore the
dress I wore last year to my surgery over my clothes… brought a pair of
shorts I wore that were so tight I had to re-sew the butt several
times. The dress was so long the arm holes met my hips! There were a slew
of pre-ops in the waiting room and the nurses all came out from the back to
see this laughing woman wearing a mumu that once fit too well. I then
stripped off my dress to reveal my 12 petite Levis with a white camisole
top tucked in… my red Victoria Secret Wonder Bra underneath (peeking
out)… a red sparkly belt… and my newly highlighted hair. Slut
City! *laughing* It was pure joy feeling the change… knowing where I
had been last year in that same waiting room… talking to posties and
disbelieving that would ever be me… yet, here I am.
Here I Am.
As soon as I come home from El Paso (May 2 is my last day at school), I am
having a bike made for me so I can begin those bike jaunts I want to do so
badly. I won’t be swimming this year (the flapping skin is too
embarrassing for me at this juncture), but thank goodness bike clothes
girdle it all in and cover what I don’t want/need to be seen.
Today I am doing something that would have been impossible a year ago…
actually, impossible EVER in my life. I am going with Sarah and my
youngest daughter hiking on some of the Mission Trails here in San
Diego. I have never hiked before, but am so looking forward to it.
Anyway, Verbosity is my middle name when it comes to yacking about WLS, so
I will close for now, but just needed to share with you all… my dearest
WLS friends… where I am today.
Oh! (sorry) Forgot to mention that at my Alvarado WLS Support Group
Meeting the other night, I sat next to Carnie Wilson. (She and I are the
same size, btw.) At one point, we both had our legs crossed and I leaned
over and whispered that we were crossing our legs and how cool was
that! She laughed and we acknowledged that only another fat chick would
understand that coolness. I did not mention how much I hated her
book. *laugh* I did invite her over for sugar-free cheesecake, but she
had to drive back to LA, so it was a no go. Fun sorta thing.
Also, the video that Ethicon did (Ethicon is a company that creates wound
closure devices) is finished and I look pretty good in there. I was a mere
4 months out, so look very different, but it was neat to see how they did
this video about WLS and the benefits of it. The video will be available
to surgeons to show during seminars or in their waiting room. My fat is
immortalized!
Okay, so off I go. My journey is just beginning!
Barbara Herrera
San Diego, CA - 41 years old
Open RNY April 5, 2001
Dr. Julie Ellner, Alvarado Hospital, San Diego, CA
04/05/01: 344# / BMI: 63/ Body Fat%: 75%
04/05/02: 172# / BMI: 31.6/ Body Fat%: 28%
(minus 172 pounds in one year)
One Year Re-Birth Day: healed of ALL co-morbs, mobile beyond every
expectation, every pre-op dream surpassed a million-fold, and smaller than
any memory.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 30th, 2003 at 5:58 pm and is filed under information. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.