Family acceptance
Hello,
I am sure all of you from time to time have had to struggle with telling your
family. My mom has yet to say if she has approved etc. I called my aunts
today and they are all worried and wish that I did not go through with this.
I want this surgery, but I feel as if I should reconsider. As I am typing all
i can think about is how wonderful it will be for me to loose all this extra
weight (well most of it). I have done every diet from weight watchers to
seeing a dietician. I have not tried Jenny craig because I just can’t afford
it. They keep telling me to think of my daughter because there is no proof
that this surgery is the right thing because it is still in it’s learning
stage. I dont know what to do I am just so sad.
Just this morning I was so gun hoed in having this surgery now my family has
me second guessing my decision.
Michelle
Consultation March 14, 2002
314lbs BMI 52 Height 5′5″ tall
May 26th, 2005 at 12:09 pm
They keep telling me to think of my daughter because there is no proof
Michelle,
I’m not sure I totally agree with the above statement your family has said.
This surgery has came a long ways, just like open heart surgery. Personally
I don’t think it’s still in it’s learning stage. Maybe if we were in the
’70’s but we are not. Alot has been done and perfected. I felt totally safe
and comfortable having the surgery. Personally this advise comes from people
who are uninformed about the surgery and the benefits you will get from it.
Direct them to the www.obesityhelp.com website. Have them read the info on
there and make their own decisions.
I’m really sorry that your family has you second guessing your decision to
help get yourself healthy. I’m sure all you do is think about your daughter.
Why wouldn’t you? When I decided to have the surgery that’s all I that
thought about - my children who are 17yr and 13yr - but not what would
happen if something happened to me but what would happen if I DIDN’T do
anything and what I would be able to do with them when I was able to ENJOY
life more. I don’t know about you but I was pretty inactive with my
children. I was always depressed and tired. I mainly “watched” them do the
things I used to enjoy to do. I am looking forward to the day I can ride a
rollar coaster without worrying about being turned around. In the past I’ve
had to tell the kids we couldn’t go to a amusement park because I couldn’t
go on some of the rides. I had the surgery not only for myself but for them,
too. I want to be around to see my grandchildren and to enjoy my children
right now by doing stuff with them and not watching them. Go back through
all your research and stand up for what you decide. Remember Satan puts
negativity into our minds and causes us to question our decisions. Good luck
in your journey.
Melissa
LAP RNY 10/30
Alabama -45lbs
June 3rd, 2005 at 11:30 pm
Michelle,
You need to tell them you are thinking of your daughter. But mostly you need to
make the decision for yourself. You need to know inside yourself that it is the
right thing to do and the right time to do it. I was lucky that most all of my
family supported me in my decision but I let them know right up front it was MY
decision. My daughter who is 20 is the only one who did not want me to have the
surgery and would not speak to me about it and to this day still will not accept
the fact out loud at least that it was the best thing for me and that it worked
and helped me. She is a stubborn one that’s for sure <g
tv any shows about the surgery or read anything about it and still does not want
to talk about it though she will listen a little and comment once in a while but
nothing major. Because of her stubborness she still is so uneducated as to what
this surgery actually is. She has told me all along and still does that I should
have been able to lose on my own and that this is nothing more than a kind of
plastic surgery. You and I and everyone else educated about this knows better
but that is her stubborness. I did not let it stop me from doing what I knew I
had to do. She does not want to accept the fact that she was wrong but she
really does see the good this has done me. As a matter of fact I have lost
50plus lbs since my surgery on Oct 1 and her and I went to NY City this past
weekend. We stayed on Long Island and took the train two days into the city to
sightsee. Well the first day we walked from Penn Station to Rockefeller Center
which is approximately 17 blocks one way for a total of 34 blocks. Then the
second day we walked from Penn Station to FAO Schwartz which is approximately 27
blocks one way for a total of 54 plus both ways and we did that in a little less
than 2 hours. If anyone is from NY or has been there you know you don’t walk
slow in NY. I would never have been able to do that before my surgery and losing
this weight and she knows it but the only concession she said to me was “you
know mom dad would be real proud of you.” Which I took to mean she was proud of
me too but couldn’t come right out and say it.
Michelle, I hope you make the choice from your own education of the surgery and
your own heart not from anyone else’s. Good luck
Thelma
open rny 10/1/02
2/02 consult 307lbs/surg276.5lbs
276.5/244.5/239/227