Children and WLS/changing family eating habits

Hi all,
I am a week behind on reading digests so please
forgive me if these is way off topic.
I am a 42 year old single Mother, I have a 6 1/2 yr
old and a 2 yr old. I am scheduled for the RNY open,
on Feb 25. I would appreciate any advise on what help
I will need caring for them after surgery, I will
have them stay with friends for the 4 days I am in the
hosp (tues-fri), but would like them home after that,
I thought I would ask my sister to come stay in a near
by hotel (she won’t stay at my house cuz of the cats)
and take care of the kids the first weekend home, I
have a
sitter at my house for the 2 yr old 9-5 m-f. she can
take her out so I can nap and she also does light

house keeping, so that will be a big help.
What else Do I need? I have people telling me the
kids need to be gone longer, but I really don’t have
family or friends that they can stay with longer than
that.
second topic, how do I explain this to my 6 yr old??
I have taught her that it is OK for me to be fat, She
says things Like “I love you even though you are fat,
Its OK that you are fat” other times she says “I wish
you were not fat, but regular like the other MOMS.”
I have to get healthy for them, I can’t keep up, even
to walk around the mall with them.
And, how do I help her? She is developing all the
compulsive overeating habbits I have, I thought I was
not passing on them…ha…she is chubby, not really
fat yet but on the edge.
My 2 yr old is one of those naturally thin types!
Any help and advise on the child issue would be great!
Mary Ann
278/ 5 feet tall
RNY scheduled 2/25/03 Holzer Clinic Ohio

3 Responses to “Children and WLS/changing family eating habits”

  1. Joni Whitley Says:

    I am 35 and also a single mom, my kids have been taught that fat is just a
    describing word like skinny, tall, short, etc. and that all different shapes
    and sizes are o.k.
    I explained to them that even tho it is o.k. to be whatever we are that my
    weight was causing me some problems that I shouldn’t be having. Although
    mine are older, jr. high, and accepted and loved me the way I was I know
    they are happier with a happier, healthier mom.
    I do think you should have someone there as long as possible, even if it is
    a babysitter. Maybe someone could pre cook some meals for the kids so that
    you wouldn’t have to worry about that for awhile.

  2. avery14 Says:

    I give you a lot of credit for your election for an RNY as a single
    mother. My 5 1/2 year old was 4 when I got my RNY. I just told
    him “daddy has a boo-boo in his belly and the doctor is going to fix
    it.”
    I don’t know what type of shape you are in, but I couldn’t bathe or
    lift my kids for a good two months or more. You are going to need
    more help than 4 days.
    Good luck.

  3. lamar_40 Says:

    I’m a single mom, too, of 7 and 11 year old girls. I had a neighbor watch
    them while I was in the hospital and when I came home I told them they could
    stay with me if they were VERY good. I’ll tell you, they were perfect
    angels. Not only did they keep quiet and let me rest but they brought me
    water and rubbed my back, just darlings. Of course, 2 months post-op and
    they are totally back to normal! I would recommend all the help you can get
    with very young kids because they are going to need to be bathed and diapered
    and to tell you the truth, for the first week it was all I could do to bath
    and toilet myself, much less another human being. As far as telling them
    what I had done, I used words they could understand and enlisted there help
    in getting into exercising and eating right. I felt so bad as a mother
    because I never took them anywhere or did anything with them. I told them
    that I was going to be healthier and soon we’ll be doing things as a family
    because I wouldn’t be sick all the time and so tired. The visited me in the
    hospital once and that was quite enough ( I was really tired). I was lucky

    in that I had no complications. My biggest fear wasn’t really of dying
    (though I wasn’t hoping for that) but of a serious complication that would
    keep me in the hospital for an extended length of time. I was walking as
    soon as I got into my room and doing everything I could to get better quickly
    and get back home. Good luck to you :) Laura
    pre-op weight 240
    pre-op BMI 42.7
    Lap BPD/DS, Oct. 28, 2002, Dr. C. DeVeney, OHSU
    240/201/140

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