Why did I do this? (WLS)
I know why I’m doing this, but only you can sit down and ask yourself why
you did this. For me, that’s how I know I have an addiction…..at the
smell of good food cooking I can deny and rationalize all the pain that
brought me to my WLS decision. The truth goes out the window and I want to
eat. That sounds like a food addict to me!
Even knowledge abt. addiction can’t save me against this heredity factor for
obesity which has left me biochemically disadvantaged.
In working with DUI offenders, I see a repeated reason why the many repeat
to have a 2nd or 3rd DUI…….their only plan is to not drink or get behind
the wheel. Yet when intoxicated, their judgement is impaired and they do
what they always do…thus another DUI.
My point is that for me I need a plan that’s etched in stone as to what i
will do and who will I call….this is life and death to me. I need to find
someone with some clean time to assist me in this walk. I will write an
insurance plan for me of people to call if I want to go back to living in
the disease. I’m dangerous….I have thrown it away at the glance of an
eye probably thousands of times.
God willing…….NO MORE. I need God because too many times I tried on my
own. It kind of reminds me of a movie with some under the soil enormous
snake killing people and I think I’m going to invite the snake to have
just a little piece of cake. That places me in quandriary denial…the 4th
level of denial….guess what comes next? I sure know….do you?
I will develop this plan because I need help and I can’t always trust my
food choices or callings. I am up against my addiction that calls me…I
must have a strong plan.
I have my surgical date. It is May 5th at Mercy Provena Hospital in Aurora,
Il. I had an earlier date but my husbands employer (Air Canada)filed
bankruptcy and put all benegits on hold so my surgury was cancelled until
last Tues. when benefits resumed. Again…..not my timing.
I am so grateful that we even have these benefits. I am truly blessed. I
feel an inner strength. WOW
Love and Hugs to you all,
Marilyn