Privacy during wls is now impossible
I had my surgery in 1999. The only people I told were 2 close
friends at work and immediate family. Even before Carny Wilson and
Al Roker, before Rosanne, before all of the publicity, everyone
figured it out.
Two especially nosy coworkers cornered one of my friends and point-
blank asked him if I had my stomach stapled or a hysterectomy. (Why
anyone gives a rat’s hiney about my uterus or stomach is beyond me,
but it happened. They all knew I’d had cancer in the past, so some
of it was genuine concern.)
My friend sent a global e-mail telling people that I had endured
major surgery and would not want to talk about my situation when I
returned to work. We also told everyone that I was OK and the cancer
had not returned.
Anyway, everyone knew I’d had my “stomach stapled.” I came back to
work and had already lost 65 pounds in 6 weeks. People ain’t dumb.
In the long run, people pretending not to know was probably the best
possible outcome. They weren’t as intrusive as they might have been
otherwise. Maybe if I’d weighed 250 pounds and not 500, they
wouldn’t have kept quiet. I think they honestly didn’t want to hurt
me.
After I lost a few hundred pounds I told people what happened and
said simply “I didn’t tell people because I didn’t feel good enough
to field questions and because I was afraid I wouldn’t lose any
weight and didn’t want to be embarrassed.” There’s not much you can
say in response to such an honest explanation.
Nearly everyone was positive and kind when I “came out.”
If you announce “I’m going to get a gastric bypass” it means that
people will feel like they can comment and ask questions. If you
say “I’m going to get a very private surgery and don’t want to talk
about it” some people will talk about it behind your back but won’t
make lots of intrusive comments to your face.
Gosh, I’m pretty opinionated this week.
February 23rd, 2006 at 11:45 am
Generally I wouldn’t announce I was having any type of surgery to anyone anyway.
Why, it isn’t their business anyway. I told my husband, family, one sister in
law and my mother-in-law who told all my husbands brothers and sisters (He’s one
of seven. I’ll remember not to tell her anything I don’t want broadcast), and a
couple of close friends I knew I could trust to be supportive.
Around month five I began to tell others. When people see the results it takes
most of their arguement away. Now, at 9 months, I will tell most people. If
I see someone I think could use the surgery, I will say something but only if
they first mention something about dieting again or having to lose weight.
Janet M.
February 28th, 2006 at 12:44 am
I only told my family pre-op. Afterward, I told everyone who asked about my
abscence or weight loss, even if it was embarrassing. People will notice. I
just didn’t want to perpetrate the myth that my successful weight loss was due
to “traditional” methods.