Post-op Depression. HELP!
I’m six days post-op and am in a terrible funk - very, very blue. I’m
wondering if I did a horrible thing by having this surgery - and that
I’ll pay the consequences for it the rest of my life. I’m greiving
my strength, the foods and quantities I used to be able to eat, and
my health (I was very healthy before going into surgery). I suppose
this is common, but rarely do you see anyone talking about it online -
the first two weeks after surgery.
And I’m sick to death of all these protein drinks! I don’t like ANY
of the Nectars well enough to WANT to drink them - everything his a
chore. I’m scared that nothing is ever going to taste good to me
ever again - and that when I WILL be able to eat, the amount will be
so small, that it won’t hardly be worth the trouble. . .
To make matters worse, I gained 12 pounds of water weight while at
the hospital and now, six days later, my NET weight loss is 1-1/2
pounds. I could have lost more than 1-1/2 pounds in a week WITHOUT
surgery had I been willing to live on <400 calories a day!
This, too, is part of the process, I guess - the grief of good parts
of our
lives before surgery, and the fear of the life after surgery. Any
insights into the process you can send my way would be much
appreciated.
Terri
September 29th, 2006 at 8:37 am
Maybe because we think we’re supposed to be ecstatic that we finally got the
Meals
If you find that you’re
surgery we wanted and feel guilt or something. But you’re right, it is very
common. It takes a couple weeks for the anaesthesia to be eliminated and in the
meantime, it can cause the blues. Second, your body’s trying to recover from
invasive surgery. And the grief process is very natural too. Also, you may be
experiencing “hibernation syndrome”. Put that term in the search section of OSSG
or in Google to read more. Right now you don’t see or feel any benefits from the
surgery, only the downside. It may stay a little rough for the next few weeks,
but about 4 weeks out, you should feel an improvement and by 6-8 weeks, it will
be much, MUCH easier.
Try to get in at least some protein if you can…..look at it as taking medicine
to heal your body for now, till you can find something you like. Ditto with
vitamins. Your tastes are changing now, so the Nectars may be more palatable
later. You might try sampling a variety of proteins through Vitalady. They cost
$1.99 each but well worth it when you can say “Aha, found one!!”. I have two
friends who had their surgeries within a week of mine and they both felt like
you afa thinking it’s not worth the trouble of eating — they were feeling this
way even at 7 weeks. Fortunately or unfortunately, I haven’t had this problem.
But you will eventually be able to eat most of the things you liked before. The
ones you may not will be mostly the things you’ll be better off not eating. Afa
nothing ever tasting good again, it will and one or two years out, you may be
wishing it *didn’t* taste so good. But what I’m finding right now at 9 weeks out
is that food still tastes good, but not as good as before. It’s a moderately
pleasant experience, not an “orgasmic pleasure”, like it was before.
are not one of the major highlights of my day, but just events where I try to
figure out what I can eat that will give me the maximum nutrition…i.e. eating
to live, not living to eat. I think this is how it is for normies and what I
always wanted. But I first had to go through a mourning period, where at two
weeks out, I was sitting at my desk crying for the food I couldn’t eat. Another
thing…pre-op, if I ate something, I’d feel an immediate chemical change in my
mood and brain…a little drug hit sorta. It doesn’t happen anymore. I feel the
same before and after eating. I kinda miss the “high” sometimes, but not much or
often. Food is just not a big deal now and I think you’ll find that true for you
in a few weeks, but first you have to go through the adjustment and then the
learning phase.
This really is frustrating, isn’t it??!! I experienced that water retention too.
Day 4 post-op, I weighed the same as I had 3 weeks earlier. For weeks after
surgery, my feet were swollen up so much I could barely get my socks on –I
think it took almost 4 weeks to subside. But now, I have to double-tie my
shoelaces to keep from tripping, that’s how much smaller my feet have gotten
since pre-op. And at 4 weeks, I could bend over from a standing position to tie
them, just like a “normal” person! It’s the little things like this that you’ll
notice first, long before your appearance changes much. Right now, you’re
experiencing only the negatives and don’t even have a weight loss to show for
it, but it’s gonna kick in! I’m one of the slower losers (31 lbs in 9 weeks,
including a plateau from week 4-6). But even I (at 1000-1200 cals daily) am
losing steadily again — turtles reach goals too!
not, call your clinic and let us know too….we’ll brainstorm it with ya and try
to help you figure it out.
It sounds like you have an excellent understanding of what’s going on and just
needed some reassurance that this is normal and will pass. I hope we’ve helped
with that. When you switch to solids, you may have some more bad spells, as you
go through the trial and error method of finding what you can eat that won’t get
stuck, how much to chew and what quantity, but in a few more weeks, you’ll start
seeing & feeling the benefits. Best wishes for you, Terri!
Barbara
47
Proximal RnY
9/15/03
5′3″ 255/224/150?
September 30th, 2006 at 9:51 am
Barbara gave some excellent responses to your issues. Here’s a
perspective from someone close to 1.5 years out:
Life after surgery is definitely different, but it’s infinitely
better in most ways. You’re still so fresh out of the trauma of
surgery that it’s impossible to be objective. Please have faith
that things will improve! Your message reminds me of some of the
things that I’d almost forgotten about the immediate post-op period,
like that awful fluid retention. Your stomach is still healing and
sensitive, and may be for quite a while. At this point anything you
ingest may be uncomfortable and your appetite will definitely be
absent or quite dampened. You feel sick, weak, your emotions are
all out of whack. You know life is irrevocably different and you’re
scared and anxious and depressed. It’s all normal, and many people
go through it. But within a few weeks or months things will be very
different. You’ll feel better, you’ll start fitting in smaller
clothes, you’ll be able to MOVE so much more comfortably! I know
it’s hard to believe now, but have faith.
At this point I can eat virtually everything, and in quantities that
are not much different from “normies”. Many post-op patients can’t
eat the volume I can–which is probably not so good for me–but you
will certainly be able to eat enough to enjoy your food. Even if
there are things you can’t eat forever, there will almost certainly
be enough variety of things you *can* eat that food will remain a
pleasure. Here’s a few tips for things to look forward to once
you’re healed and eating solid foods:
Eat SLOWLY and relish every bite. This is not only good practice
for the habits you want to form, but it will stretch your smaller
meals into the same length of time as your family or companions.
Remember to put the fork down between bites, enjoy the conversation,
give the food your full attention, and try to resist the temptation
to read or watch TV while you eat. (I have to admit I’m TERRIBLE
about this, it’s a case of “do as I say, not as I do!”).
Explore new foods, new recipes, read about nutrition, practice your
cooking skills, all with an emphasis on fresh, healthy food. You’ll
hopefully find that with the junk and overeating out of your life
you will really ENJOY fresh, healthy food. And since you’re buying
less and hopefully mostly staying away from junk, fast food, etc.,
you can rationalize indulgences. Buy exotic fruits and veggies, for
instance. Mangoes, avocadoes, fancy salad greens, whatever strikes
your fancy. You’ll feel pampered and treated. Explore strong
cheeses, grill some portabello mushrooms, buy fine meats–when was
the last time you had a really good lamb chop, for instance?–or a
new kind of fish. Since you’re buying smaller quantities you can
afford occasional luxuries, and it really helps beat that feeling of
deprivation.
Be aware and thankful of all your soon-to-come gains. Try not to
get complacent about your new body and life. There are SO many
things to be grateful for, try to be mindful and observant of all
the big and small improvements. Things I’ve noticed in just the
last few days, even though I’ve been at the same weight now for
months and am probably through losing:
I can fit through small openings in crowds, in stores, through
subway turnstiles, that sort of thing. With the holiday rush
starting this has really been noticeable to me.
I had a physical this week and realized I can fit in those paper
johnnies in the doctor’s office!
Buying clothes in misses sizes is a continuing rush, and I hope it
never loses its magic. *Everything* fits differently, including
hats, jewelery, and shoes. Clothes are better made, more stylish,
and a whole lot cheaper. I’m still giddy from the wide array of
choices I have, it’s just overwhelming.
It feels *good* to walk fast, without pain or breathlessness, to
climb stairs, to tie my shoes without strain. For me, the most
noticeable improvement is the ability to stand for hours without
pain. I couldn’t go 3 minutes before without wanting to sit down or
lean against something!
There’s an indescribable feeling from just fitting into the world:
restaurant booths, airplanes, bus seats, school chairs with fixed
desk extensions, turnstiles, rear seatbelts in cars. Feeling
*normal* is amazing. I’m not an ideal weight and probably never
will be, but even though I’m still heavy I’m NORMAL. That is such a
blessing.
A couple of days ago I went to a lunch meeting and realized that I
could balance my plate on my lap. I can sit at my computer and look
at papers on my lap. My cats can sit on my lap instead of my
chest. I could never do that before, I *had* no lap! Little things
like that make up for any deprivations. Sure I still get a twinge
when I see large Cadbury bars on sale for 79 cents in the drugstore
fliers; I used to eat two or more in an evening. But all I have to
do is turn to the back of the drugstore flier and look at the
diabetic supplies that I will hopefully never need, and my mourning
goes away.
I will always have an abnormal relationship with food. I will
always have a struggle, and this journey will never be easy. But
regrets about the surgery? Not yet, and hopefully never.
Your depression now is very real, and I acknowledge the pain you’re
in. But try to also have patience and faith and gratitude and
relish the good things that are in your future. They’re equally
real.
Celia