Dr Z will call soon, and a few thoughts
My nephrologist will be calling to clarify two points for me, one; does he
think i need dialysis NOW and two; does a permacath ruin the vessels in the
respective arm
if I get no no, I go.
on wills: my living will can be summed up in a single sentence, If I will be
paralyzed or a vegetable DNR. I was a “material boy” back in my money making
days, but had to liquidate it all to survive the escalating illnesses, so that
is a non issue.
I’m a positive guy, for as much schit as I’ve been put thru in my life
(believe me, I was crushed in 86, was 850 pounds in 91, had a 105.3 “brain
cooker”
fever in 95, and then the getting smashed from behind last April that triggered
this cataclysmic kidney failure event, so I’ve been thru more than my share
of pain and suffering) I try to stay positive, up, mind open and alert, I think
I do pretty well all in all.
however, I’m biased
A final note on death … I’ve spent most of my life in a spotlight of
contempt, disdain and ridicule. This is nothing new, we’ve all experienced it.
I will not die a monster, passively awaiting a horrid death. Should I die in
the attempt to cure myself of a lifetime of misery, cremate me, put a few
ashes in brazil, keep a few for posterity and the rest divide equally between
the
little house down the shore and the Delaware bay. That is IF I die, which I
wont.
In my own mind, I’ve been thru the operation, lived and am having a fantastic
time, I dream of it constantly, and am tired of waiting for it to happen.
Line those damn ducks up
LETS ROLL!